Practicalities, gear and film choices, project planning and business expectations were filling my mind and I could not hear my artistic heart anymore.
Had it stopped beating?
I thought that planning projects was expected. I thought it was sufficient to let my intuition choose the lens of the day or the film for tomorrow.
When had I started to worry more about the ‘right’ choice of gear than expressing myself in my images.
When had I become afraid that I could only make interesting work with vintage lenses on an 8×10 camera?
I had buried my creative intuition under technical and practical considerations.
I had allowed my free spirit to be put in chains by my perceived expectations of the world around me.
The sheer immensity of possibilities and choices was not just clouding my vision, it was blinding me.
Should I go 8×10 or even larger, how about wetplate collodion, maybe some Polaroid work or what about this special lens or…?
But what is it that I really want? What does make MY heart sing?
Is it still what I said in my presentation at the Connected exhibition in April this year?
I do not want to be limited to a certain genre or style of photography but instead see my vision as the constant and connecting element between my images. I want my work to be personal.
Yes and no. While I still want my work to be personal and still see my vision (or better my way of seeing the world) as the connecting element, I had come to a point on my journey where I felt that I was actually limiting myself (my artistic expression) by having too many choices (yes, you read that correctly 😉 ).
So for the next part of this journey I will limit at least my ‘technical’ choices to free my mind from those decisions and thus allow my intuition to take over and create again – minimal gear and just the right tools for maximum intuitive creativity.
I want to focus on expressing the way I see and feel the world around me and inside of me and not on the choice of film.
I want to more deeply explore what lies BEYOND – the gateways between reality and fantasy, the SUB-realilty and not the technical or even artistic possibilities of a certain lens.
I want to experiment more with techniques in camera and in the darkroom (digital or physical) where the outcome is flexible and not (always) predictable or ‘fulfilling expectations’.
I want to create individual, individualistic and as often as possible tangible pieces of art.
How am I going to do all that…you will find out if and when you follow me on my journey. I made my choices, I packed the bag – let’s move on, following my intuition… 🙂
As always, I would love to hear what you think? Do you feel that too much choice can be limiting? What do you think about changing your vision – or should a vision be constant? What are you focussing on creatively?